Yoga Hobos

There has always been a part of me that wanted to partake in a sweat lodge. If you’re unfamiliar with the sweat lodge ceremony, you can read more about it here. When Saul David Raye stated that we would be having one during our Thai Yoga Massage retreat, I was quite excited. However, I found myself feeling a little apprehensive at the same time. My body has been undergoing massive trauma and tension releases lately and they were only building in intensity. I pictured myself having major convulsions during the sweat lodge and freaking people out who were around me. After talking to Saul about this concern, we agreed that he and Caspar (our super cool chef) would be on each side of me.

Today was the big day. A Lakota by the name of Eagle Bear was to lead our lodge. At around 2pm or so we began taking wood, blankets, and rocks down to the location where we would have the sweat. The frame of the lodge was alive. The brilliant folks at Casa Barranca had taken the time to plant and shape trees to form a living frame for sweat lodges as seen below.

While the lodge may not appear very large in the picture above, it was big enough to fit about 20 people somewhat comfortably around the sides.

Once we had the firewood, blankets, and rocks down by the lodge, we began our first ceremony. About 30 feet from the hut was a fire pit with the rocks we would heat circling it. We gathered around the pit and Eagle Bear cleansed the area and called in the spirits with various prayers. During this time, the base logs were placed in the fire pit with great care. We were then told to pick one of the rocks that called to us. Eagle Bear then had us each place give our rock to the fire keeper and audibly state our intention for the ceremony. I chose a rock with a large crack in it and stated that my intention was to allow the elements to crack me wide open just as they had to the rock. Everyone had a different intention and all were beautiful in their own way.

Once the rocks were placed upon the base logs, we then chose a small stick and stated a second round of intentions as we placed our sticks upon the rocks. My intention was for my fears to burn along with the stick. Additional kindling and logs were then placed upon the fire and it was lit. I watched as the stick which symbolically held my fears burned away. We then headed off to spend time alone in preparation for the ceremony while the rocks began to heat. Below is a picture of the fire pit.

After about three hours, the rocks were heated and it was time to begin the ceremony. Prior to entering the lodge, we were cleansed with smoke from a plant whose name I can’t remember. The women went in first followed by the men. You entered the lodge on your knees with reverence. The lodge with the blankets in place can be seen below:

Once inside the sweat lodge, we commenced the ceremony immediately. There were four rounds of prayers prior to which 5-8 rocks were brought in by the fire keeper. We would welcome each rock as “grandfather”, give offerings, and then the round would begin. Each prayer round was a bit different and involved song, each person around the circle offering prayers, and a lot of sweating. All told, we were in the sweat lodge for about four hours, so it was quite intense. After each round, the door would be opened but we did not exit the lodge.

While I didn’t have an intense release as I was too physically uncomfortable (I was situated on a decline which made sitting difficult) many other people did. There was crying, laughing, shaking, and every other release under the sun. In the end, I realize what I experienced was exactly what I needed to experience. Overall, the sweat lodge was an amazing ceremony and I would definitely partake again in the future if the opportunity arose.

At one point in my life, I would have been morbidly obese if fear was fattening. Keep that potential bias in mind as I make the claim that we are a society that lives in fear. We fear the microscopic microbe we try to kill with anti-bacterial cleanser. We fear other people as we lock our doors, turn on the alarm, and keep the gun loaded. You know, just in case.

We live in fear of the potential. “It might; he may, they could”. We live in fear of the inevitable (such as death). And I must ask once again as I did in my zombie entry, if we live in fear, are we really living? Once again, I find the need to quote Albert Einstein who said, “The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there’s no risk of accident for someone who’s dead.”

No more. So much fear can be dissipated if we no longer live in ignorance and illusion and simply trust. I choose to trust. Rather than fear the microbe, I choose to trust that my immune system and infinitely wise body will protect we as necessary. And when the universe decides I should fall ill, I trust that I will be able to ascertain the message. I choose to trust others. My doors shall remain unlocked and my heart open.

I trust that all events serve a purpose. I will no longer fear the potential. I choose to trust and be grateful for whatever the universe delivers to me in this moment.

The Presence Process, A Healing Journey Into Present Moment Awareness, by Michael Brown might not be considered a yoga book by many, but it is for me. What would constitute a “yoga book” anyway? Pictures of various asana? Discussion of the eight limbs? Considering the fact that The Presence Process has helped me experience Samadhi, I have no problem writing about it here.

A friend I met at a consciousness group meeting recommended The Presence Process to me and I’m glad she did. Should you decide to pick up this book, my guess is that you’ll either decide that it is brilliant or a load of crap. While it speaks truth to me, we’re all experiencing slightly different realities and need different tools, so it may not be truth for you. Allow me to copy a passage to see if it pulls at your heart:

Because we were not unconditionally loved as children, we became uncomfortable within ourselves. This set off a chain of events in which we began to seek that which would restore our inner peace. Because we were not accepted for who we are, we turned away from our authentic Presence and went in search of who we were supposed to be. Our parents asked us, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We believed that if we could live a life that would supply the correct answer to this question, we would then receive the unconditional love that we did not receive as children. This search set in motion the endless “doings” that became our adult life. We tried to prove that we were worthy of being alive by succeeding or by not succeeding. Even though we were already alive, we went in search of our purpose so that we could “earn a living”. The truth behind it all is that what we have really been trying to accomplish is attempting to, “earn a loving”.

The consequence has been imbalance, confusion, separation, lack, and all that stems from the trinity of fear, anger, and grief. The consequence has been a poisonous quest to find meaning and purpose in all that we “do”. Because we have seen no importance in our Being, our inner Presence, we have sought to realize this importance in all our outer “doings”. More than that, we have sought to place great importance on all “the stuff” that we do things with. By believing that all our doings and all the stuff we have enlisted to serve our doings could be the source of our liberation, we have inadvertently used them to build a brick wall between us and what is real. We have used it all to manufacture an illusory gap between our sense of wholeness and ourselves. This gap is the source of all our fear, anger, and grief. This gap is not our purpose, and our purpose can never be found in it. This gap is something we did. This gap is something we made because we could not, were not, and have not been shown how to recognize and appreciate the value of our own Inner Presence.

If The Presence Process has set out to accomplish anything, it has been this: to facilitate us in rescuing ourselves from our endless unconscious array of doings and instead invite us to return to our authentic state of Being. From the beginning, this Process has asked us to stop. To stop and breathe. To stop and watch. To stop and respond. To stop and feel. To stop and pay attention. To stop reacting.

The Presence Process drops a bomb on you about 40-60 pages in. If this bomb was alluded to on the back cover or told to me by my friend, I would not have read the book. I wouldn’t have been open to it. But Michael Brown draws you in so quickly that you come to know that what he suggests needs to be done. This is done over a 10 week process, and for me, the results have been nothing short of miraculous.

“High above in the Lord’s mansion ringeth the transcendental music. But alas, the unlucky hear Him not; they are in deep slumber”. Guru Nanak, a 16th century Sikh guru.

If I were to ask a group of Yogis if the vast majority of us are cute little caterpillars who one day might one day evolve into a beautiful butterfly, many would say yes. If I asked the same group of Yogis if we were asleep and might one day awaken, many would say yes. No anxiety would arise, no fear, no defensiveness. But what if I ask the question in a slightly different manner? What if I ask, “Are we a society full of zombies and a few are being cured of this ailment?” In my experience, the reaction, and boy is it a reaction, is vastly different. “Ridiculous, absurd, egotistical, judgmental” and the list goes on. Yet in the end, I am describing the same thing with different words. But are we undead zombies? Literally, no. Figuratively, in my reality, yes. As I researched the term zombie I was greeted with this statement at wikipedia.org, “In philosophy of mind, zombies are hypothetical persons who lack full consciousness but have the biology or behavior of a normal human being; thought experiments involving them are often used as arguments against the identity of the mind and the brain.”

Albert Einstein, who I feel in my heart was an enlightened being, is said to have stated, “The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there’s no risk of accident for someone who’s dead.” Do you fear death? If so, according to Einstein, you’re already dead.

When we live in fear, when we lack presence, when we aren’t whole, when we aren’t conscious, are we really living? Until somewhat recently, I wouldn’t have known the answer to that question. I have now experienced living. I now know what it is like to TRULY be alive. I now know what it feels like to NOT be a zombie. And good god is it bliss. I do not want to be a zombie anymore. And that’s why I use the term, “zombie”, it works for me. Feel this for a minute…

Caterpillars are somewhat cute little worms we don’t picture in a negative light. Sleeping feels good and is necessary; it’s something we’re used to. Therefore, when we’re compared to caterpillars or told we’re asleep, it doesn’t jostle the ego. But if we’re suddenly compared to zombies, the ego rears its head and gets defensive. Who wants to be compared to an aggressive, angry, hateful, suffering, food (brains) addicted organism that’s not really alive?

Many of us who are on this path have had a, “Dark Night of the Soul”. Things had to get REALLY dark before we began to see the light. While the idea of us being zombies is dark, I will continue to utilize the terminology in the hope that some might see that glimmer of light. Now if you’ll pardon me, I’m hungry for brrrraaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnnsssssss.

***Added June 1st 2008***

I now realize that we are not a society full of zombies.  We are a world full of enlightened beings.